sometimes

i am really exhausted.

when i find that my life's path has led me to this "funk" as a i like to call it, since there is not one particular thing wrong...i can't really "fix" anything. all i can really do is keep a smile on my face and keep, head held high, and keep one foot moving in front of the other.

i am trying to study my scriptures more earnestly. in fact, on tuesday night, i studied my scriptures for 2 hours. making my own outline and cross referencing things, etc. it felt really good to be able to dig deep in the scriptures and find my own applications. because let's me tell you a secret of mine...the scriptures intimidate me. sometimes it takes me forever to find the correct book and i am afraid of reading the words incorrect because they spoke so differently. and...i probably don't know my scripture stories as well as i should.

and this is something that i definitely want to work on knowing more.

school always exhausts  me. as mentioned in my last post, i have spent some quality time with economics this weekend. having a psychology exam earlier this week, economics exam, biology quiz and exam, and for my health professions class i have to do community service. we talked about the other week about how we use the 168 hours of our weeks. Um...everyone's was pretty filled up. And we have to do outside the classroom community service on top of everything else. whew! it's just a lot & im worried because right now, the place that i have started this process isn't really cooperative.

so what have i decided?

that i am spreading myself too thin.

what have i done to remedy it?

given up some personal things.

elder bednar came to give a fireside at the WSU institute a few months ago. he talked about how there is no such thing as balance in life. life consists of spinning plates and you have to just make sure that you give enough attention to each plate to make sure it keeps spinning. that is really helped me the past few weeks. knowing that i just have to keep the plates spinning. knowing that i just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. knowing that because i am doing all that i can right now to lead a productive life, the Lord is blessing me in ways i probably can't even realize right now. i am trying to do all that is asked of me. i am following the council of obtaining a degree, i have a job to help get me through school & pay for the necessities of life, i am a regular attendee of my church, along with that, i fulfill my calling as best as i can (sometimes i feel super scatter-brained about it. but i am putting forth effort).

the Lord knows i am giving it my all. i am not wasting my days. i am not being idle. i am being productive, and trying to maintain constant personal growth.

since when did life get so weird, complicated, and hard? 

this is the end for today.

just had to spill it out somewhere.